Chest between friends: "300"

Seriously, I haven't seen this many oily pecs since I accidentally wandered down the wrong end of Bourbon Street in New Orleans.

You may recall my post after a theater viewing of this wholesome account of 300 Spartan warriors facing down the endless armies of Xerxes way back in the olden times. The movie is based on the comic book -- I mean, "graphic novel" -- by Frank Miller, and yeah, it's graphic. I'll go back and look at my original post after this, but I seem to remember thinking "300" had some nice visuals and plenty of good killing but didn't offer much more beyond that.

Of course, with my three months of free movie channels about to run out, I felt obligated to record as much as possible and give this feast for the eyes another whirl. And while "300" didn't get any better a second time around, it is well on its way to earning a spot in the hallowed pantheon of mindless action movies you can drop into at any time.

Our story follows King Leonidas of Sparta as he tries to fend off god-king Xerxes, who already has conquered many, many lands. Now it's Sparta's -- and all of Greece's -- turn, but darn it if those Spartans would rather die on their feet than live on their knees. Despite bringing only 300 to face tens of thousands, the Spartans are fierce and smart. Otherwise, this movie would have been over in 10 minutes.

Directed by Zack Snyder, who did the entertaining "Dawn of the Dead," "300" is somewhat unique in that all of the action was shot against blue or green screens, with the scenery and other CGI -- oooh, monsters! -- added later. Definitely adds to the comic book feel, although that can be a little too fakey at times. The whole monotone thing kind of wore thin at times, too, whether it was the yellow tinge of battle or the blue tinge at night in Sparta.

But really, we're just here for the blood, and there seemed to be even more beheadings, amputations and impalings the second time. The metal music soundtrack and quick cuts between regular speed and slow-motion were kind of cool; no worries that this movie takes itself seriously. It's also fun to count how many times Leonidas bellows about dining in hell or madness or glory.

Indeed, Gerard Butler should have gotten hazard pay for the veins popping out of his head with each exhortation. Not to mention the whole greased body and cape-and-Speedo getup. Nobody's saying you guys need to wear suits of armor, but wouldn't a T-shirt cut down on the scratches and scrapes?