Woefully Ignorant Oscar Predictions: Lead Acting Roles

Couldn't get enough bad guesses before? Then enjoy our next round of crappy predictions!

BEST ACTOR IN A LEAD ROLE

Some surprises here, and maybe the worst collection of film titles I've ever seen.

Leonardo DiCaprio, "Blood Diamond": Not surprised he got nominated, but I thought it might be for "The Departed." I guess he's good here, too, even with that fuzz on his face. The best part, I understand, was when he yelled, "I'm the king of an oppressed African nation!!!" Movievangelist Odds: 15-to-1.

Ryan Gosling, "Half Nelson": This young guy can act, no doubt, and if I saw this movie I might be singing his praises even more. If only this leads to "The Notebook 2: Down in Rachel's Valley." Movievangelist Odds: 18-to-1.

Peter O'Toole, "Venus": Older than the other four nominees combined, or so it seems, and nominated enough that he could get some pity votes here. Bonus: His daughter, Plenty, was a Bond girl. Movievangelist Odds: 8-to-1.

Will Smith, "The Pursuit of Happyness": I've lost hours of sleep trying to decide what I hate more: the Fresh Prince sobbing in a public toilet or that stupid "y." Movievangelist Odds: 10-to-1.

Forest Whitaker, "The Last King of Scotland": Man, he's almost as intense here as when he singlehandedly took down Lincoln High more than 20 years ago. Sounds like a shoo-in, even with the most confusing film title in recent history. "Wait, this is about Idi Amin?" Movievangelist Odds: 2-to-1.

BEST ACTRESS IN A LEAD ROLE

Americans need not apply. Even the lone Yank affects an accent every other film. (Just not here, I guess.)

Penélope Cruz, "Volver": Well, since she can't act in English, why not nominate her in a Spanish-speaking role? (I assume it is. Here's yet another movie I haven't seen.) If she manages to win, though, wouldn't it be cool to see Cameron Diaz accept? You know ... "Vanilla Sky?" Anyone? Movievangelist Odds: 15-to-1.

Judi Dench, "Notes on a Scandal": Ah, the Dame. I hope she always introduces herself as that ... "Dame Judi Dench, nice to meet you. Where's the loo?" On another note, if she wins here, we all know it was because she was overlooked in "The Chronicles of Riddick." Movievangelist Odds: 10-to-1.

Helen Mirren, "The Queen": Considered as much of a lock as Whitaker, she would seem to be another proper Brit but actually has a mischievous streak in her roles, as I recall. Maybe that's just me thinking of her as Morgana in "Excalibur." Naughty, naughty. Movievangelist Odds: 2-to-1.

Meryl Streep. "The Devil Wears Prada": Meryl who? Geez, give someone else a chance. Also, since this was one of those annoying books du jour for much more than du jour, I hate it without even seeing it. Movievangelist Odds: 8-to-1.

Kate Winslet, "Little Children": Otherwise known as the Next Meryl Streep, nominated for pretty much anything. This performance, I hear, was almost as good as her work in "How to Operate the Cuisinart Ultra: An Instructional Video." Movievangelist Odds: 10-to-1.