Thursday, February 08, 2007

Jesus loves me, but not you unless you love him first, you infidel dog: "Jesus Camp"

You know, it's easy to see a movie like this and sharpen the "holier than thou" knives. Oh, you godly folk ... you're really a bunch of idiots. Don't get me wrong. They are. But it's not so simple as "Religious people are whack."

We'll see if "Jesus Camp" can upset "An Inconvenient Truth" when it comes to best documentary this year. One thing the movies share is agendas and care very little about balance. That makes for good drama, which is something a lot of documentaries can't claim. It also leaves me wanting, and a not as worshipful as other viewers who are only so happy to shout, "Damn right!"

In this case, we see how young minds are essentially groomed to be evangelical Christians, hell-bent on converting any and everyone to the way of Jesus Christ, our savior. We start with outreach to the kids on their home turf, then follow the young'ns to a summer camp in North Dakota where they can learn to be just as militant as those nasty Muslims who are out to kill us. I mean, they are, right?

At the center of this fun is a preacher/Jim Jones-type named Becky Fischer. Now, she's evil. Make no mistake. She may be a woman of faith, but consider this: (a) She methodically wants to build a young Christian army. "They are so usable in Christianity," she says of children. Yes, really. (b) She wants that army to influence government, no bones about it. (c) She's dumb enough to show her vanity and act more than a little inappropriate when doing "God's work." I'm talking about a scene where she introduces herself to kids at camp by asking how she looks after a bunch of primping. Gee, isn't there a Seven Deadly Sins lesson in there somewhere? Ass.

Throw in the appearance of Ted Haggard, president of the National Association of Evangelicals, and it starts to get unbearable. Here's a guy who unabashedly says that his people can control elections. Nice Democratic process, dickhead! Of course, our man Ted got caught up in a drugs and gay sex scandal that knocked him down a peg or two. Good role model.

Like I said, it's easy to start piling on to these narrow-minded, Kool-Aid-drinking dolts. But here's the thing: Some people in this movie are victims. I'm speaking of the kids, of course, but I suspect a few adults fall into this category. Hey, you can worship anyone you want and anyhow you want. I don't care, and if your faith is strong, I'm cool with that. Hell, I admire that. Mine could be stronger, I admit. Believe what you want to believe.

The problem comes (a) when you start forcing that belief on others and (b) when other sick motherf*ckers teach you how to force that on others ... or condemn them if they don't join the cult. I mean ... how Christian is that? Maybe I haven't retained everything from 13 years of Catholic school, but I don't remember Jesus saying, "You're not with me? Then it's too bad you're going to hell, dumba$$."

So yeah, if God is love, what the hell is going on at "Jesus Camp?" What maybe made me the saddest was this little girl, only nine years old but clearly smart and articulate. Yet she's been turned into this soldier in an unholy army. Like I said, teach her about God and let her worship Him/Her/It as she wants. But when you start sending her into the streets to guilt people into joining the cause? Let's just say you might not be on the up escalator when your time here is done.

2 Comments:

At 3:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've got to see this one. It sounds like renting a train wreck on DVD.

 
At 5:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Re: the fake Jesus quote, "You're not with me? Then it's too bad you're going to hell, dumba$$." - I'm pretty sure that sums up the entire New Testament.

 

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