On football, parallel universes and damned dirty apes

Stay tuned for posts on more substantive movies soon. Until then ...

The lack of adequate skull protection explains a lot: "Leatherheads"

Part of this was shot in North Carolina, and I like George Clooney. Neither of these facts persuaded me to see Clooney's take on the origins of pro football in the theater, but we rented it for when the in-laws were in town for Thanksgiving. I should have stuck with not seeing it.

Clooney is an aging pro football player back in the 1920s, when pro football was for bums and teams were folding left and right. Our hero gets the bright idea of recruiting a star college player and World War I hero (Jim from "The Office) to give the pros some credibility. Meanwhile, a scrappy newspaper reporter (Renee Zellweger) is investigating the war hero to see if his story is true. Gee, any chance that sparks will fly among these three?

Clooney does his charm thing, although it's even lighter than usual. Zellweger is OK, I suppose. Jim is ... Jim. Not much range there. Otherwise, we get some oddball supporting guys and a lot of 1920s atmosphere -- cars, gamblers, speakeasys, etc. It looks good enough, I suppose, but I didn't care much about the story before I saw the movie, and nothing I saw changed my mind.

Hell, if Van Damme can play twins ... : "The One"

I vaguely recall this coming and going several years ago, when Jet Li's star was on the rise. This movie didn't exactly help that, and it's not hard to see why.

Li plays multiple roles, but mainly two guys who are the same guy in parallel universes. You see, there are a bunch of different universes in existence at once, with the same person leading different lives in each. But one guy (Li) is killing off the other guys in the other universes to make himself stronger, faster, deadlier and so on. Soon it comes down to him (the villain) and one other version of him (our hero). And if we learned anything from "Highlander," it's that there can be only one.

Other players include Delroy Lindo and a pre-"Transporter" Jason Statham as trans-universe cops and Carla Gugino as Li's woman. While "The One" is generally silly -- and short; felt like a TV pilot -- I have to admit I liked the concept a little, and there were some decent fight scenes. And hey, any world in which we can imagine a President Al Gore in 2001 ...

Chucky see, Chucky do: "Planet of the Apes"

I love this movie. Charlton Heston overacting, creepy music, talking monkeys, that final scene (see Heston overacting) ... just love it.

You know the story. Heston and a couple of astronauts crash on a strange planet in the distant future, and soon learn it's ruled by apes, and that man is the primitive species. This leads to all sorts of down-is-up moments, and eventually to Heston conspiring with a couple of ape scientists to get away. But who knows what secrets lie in the Forbidden Zone?

Two things worth mentioning until the next time I see this and inevitably post something on it again:

1. The buildup in the first half-hour of this movie is great. After the crash landing, we get this barren landscape and spooky music. Then we see some humans. Then ... well, we learn the reason behind the title. I've always loved the unveiling of the apes.

2. I notice something new each time I watch this movie. This last time, it was the "see no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil" bit during Heston's trial. Awesome.

Yeah, I have a definite soft spot for this one. "The Omega Man," too. "Soylent Green," not so much. Still, you can't deny that my fellow Northwestern grad -- best known as Moses -- delivered the goods when it came to late '60s and early '70s sci-fi. Funny how that didn't lead his obit ...