Monday, December 01, 2008

Good thing I had +12 empathy and was wearing my Cloak of Pity: "Darkon"

And if I screwed up the D&D lingo, well, silly me for having a life in high school. That's right ... I wasn't a role-playing geek. Too busy conquering the world in Risk.

If you've seen "Role Models," this documentary is a fantastic complement. If you haven't, "Darkon" is still fascinating. I don't recall the exact wording when I stumbled across this movie recently -- I had never heard a thing about it -- but it was something like "Adult gamesters turn Baltimore into a medieval battleground." Oh, I am so there ...

Our story is simple: Regular people of various occupations, ages, etc., participate in ... well, let's just go to the Web site: "A full-contact medieval fantasy wargaming group, active in the Baltimore/Washington area since 1985. Every other Sunday, between 150 and 300 members gather in costume and armor to fight unchoreographed mock battles with padded weaponry."

Yeah, I know. And yes, these are a bunch of dorks. But that's OK. This is what they want to do. And really, just because society says guys who wear pads and helmets and try to move an oblong ball back and forth on a field are idols, while guys who wear pads and helmets and beat each other with swords are geeks ... well, that's just not fair.

The movie focuses on four principal characters: the top dog in Darkon who has grown as a man along with the game; his would-be usurper; a stripper-turned-single mom living in her parents' basement; and a chubby teenage boy. Of those, the woman's story is the least interesting, while the kid's is the most touching. With little going for him in the real world, Darkon is his refuge, and when he talked about the game giving him courage to maybe one day talk to a girl, my heart just about broke in two.

Fear not, though. There's still a lot of silliness here, especially when it comes to the battle for power. You see, Keldar and country of Mordom have been on top for a while. Bannor of Laconia, however, thinks Mordom isn't really concerned about the realm as much as just keeping everyone else down.

In this world, Bannor is Skip, a househusband and father who's background is a little on the pathetic side. Keldar is Kenyon, who comes across as a self-made businessman who generally has his act together. To say their real-life roles cross over into Darkon is not an overstatement. We see other examples of this, too, with one great scene in which a guy complains about the politics and cliques in Darkon, and how there didn't seem to be a place for him. Dude ... isn't Darkon the place for people who don't have a place in the real world? If that doesn't work out ... whoa.

I can't recommend this movie highly enough. It's not the best documentary I've ever seen, but the subject is highly entertaining. Sure, the "battles" are funny; gotta love the minivans and soccer goals in the background, as well as the plywood fort for one big clash. But the politics are better. My favorite part may have been Keldar calling out Bannor on his power grab, and Bannor trying to talk tough in Middle Ages speak. High comedy. Clearly Bannor had a -6 smack-talking.

3 Comments:

At 4:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's a damn shame that Tex doesn't come on here to read your posts. Also, don't sell yourself short. You were a tremendous geek in high school.

XOXO,

The Count and his special friends

 
At 4:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, and I did see Role Models, and loved it. However, the best movie I have seen recently by far is Slumdog Millionaire. You should see that sometime rather than Edward Penishands when you go out for one of your solo trenchcoat outings to the movies.

 
At 12:21 PM, Blogger Jefferson said...

"Edward Penishands?" Come on. You know me better than that. I was at "A League of Their Moan."

 

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