Sunday, September 21, 2008

With staying power somewhere between "The Simpsons" and "Manimal": A Very Special Movievangelist Post

Welcome. So good to see you. How are the wife and kids?

Why the formality? Well, it's not every day that I invite people to read a blog that has hit 500 posts.

That's right. With these words right here, what started as one man's dream and evolved to draw tens of readers from across the continent has hit a major milestone. 500 posts. Wow. And I bet some of you thought I wouldn't make it past 241.

To mark this momentous occasion, we'll go back to the beginning. Post No. 1 -- way back in February 2005 -- referenced one of my favorite mediocre movies, "Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins." As it turned out, this classic was on Starz or Encore or something like that last week. As those great rockers Poison once said while talking about needing nothing but a good time, "How can I resist?"

Our story has the immortal Fred Ward as a New York City cop whose death is faked so he can be recruited as an assassin for a top-secret government agency that follows the 11th Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Get Away With It. Clever, I know.

Anyway, Mr. Quaker Oats, Wilford Brimley, and a black guy with glasses and a fake arm steer Remo -- his new name -- to be trained by a diminutive Korean martial arts master, played by Joel Grey in heavy makeup. This odd couple gets off to a rocky start, but darn it if things don't come together as Remo tracks down a bigtime weapons manufacturer who's more crooked than an Alaskan politician. In the mix is Kate Mulgrew as a saucy female military officer, also hot on the bad guy's trail.

In essence, this is "The Karate Kid"-meets-"Enter the Dragon," with more wisecracks. Ward and Grey trade one-liners based on their respective attitudes. I still laugh when Remo wakes up in the hospital after his faked death and is told he was recruited because he was the best candidate available. "If I'm the best you've got, then you're in deep sh*t, pal!" Awesome. We love Fred.

No question, this movie has deficiencies. The villain is a joke, and his henchmen aren't any better. The script is, shall we say, hard to swallow -- even with Fred's funnies -- and some of the martial arts stuff is pretty hokey. Yes, that includes Remo's signature move.

That said, there's still some good action scenes, including a tiff on the Statue of Liberty. And the rapport between Remo and Chiun is entertaining. Throw in a soaring theme song -- which always stays in my head for days -- and I love this movie more than when I first saw it more than 20 years ago. Don't hold me to it, but you could be reading something just like this when we hit 1,000 posts. Dare to dream.

4 Comments:

At 2:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you're under-selling "Remo Williams," easily Fred Ward's second best offering behind only "Tremors" (the first one, not the sequel he did with the dad from "Family Ties" who thought it was wise to make two more sequels even after Mr. Ward realized "Corky Romano" might be a better use of his time). Well, OK, maybe "The Right Stuff" is up there too. And "Escape From Alcatraz." And "The Player." But you get the idea.

Obviously "Remo" is an average overall film, at best, but the back-and-forth between Remo and Chiun and the various training scenes are highly entertaining. And I did not know that was truly Joel Grey. Amazing. Thank you for learning me something today, Movievangelist.

Last point: is it just me, or does "Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins" clearly indicate that this was to be the first of a series of films? Tremors 4 (which ironically had a secondary title of "The Legend Begins") gets the greenlight but they can't churn out a second Remo flick? What the hell, Hollywood?

 
At 4:29 PM, Blogger Jefferson said...

You forget his turn as the hottie's dad in "Secret Admirer." "You get my daughter pregnant, I'll shoot your d*ck off."

Actually, go to YouTube and search for "Remo Williams 2" for a couple of sad-sack attempts at fake sequel trailers.

But yes, why the adventure didn't continue is hard to fathom given the bevy of crappy movie franchises. Yeah, I'm looking at you, "Leprechaun."

 
At 10:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about playing DJ Qualls dad in Roadtrip with the line of "Son, we've been coming to this restaurant for 15yrs (?) now go back and run this card again." Waiter: "Sir, we have been open for only eight years."
The theme song is a knock off of Indiana Jones.

 
At 1:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So many Fred Ward movies, so many memories.

 

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