Sunday, September 16, 2007

Puppet sex! F*CK YEAH!!!: "Team America: World Police"

This movie has the honor of being the first one I watched from Netflix on my computer. Have you seen this deal? They've put some movies out there for subscribers to watch for free on Ye Olde Internet. Pretty neat, even if the offerings are, ahem, a bit limited. "Hellbound: Hellraiser II?" Hell, fire up that puppy!

Actually, there are some real movies in the lineup, and while The Light of My Pitiful Excuse for a Life was watching the big TV in the den the other night, I decided to give "Team America" another whirl. You may recall my post from way back when, as well as the somewhat sketchy details due to my drifting in and out of slumber while watching the movie. Now, almost two-and-a-half-years later, I had a chance to do justice to possibly the best puppet/locker-room humor/political satire film ever. Eat your heart out, Kubrick.

Our story is a dead-on send-up of Bay/Bruckheimer movies with a healthy dose of subversive skewering of sanctimonious assh*les ... all done by puppets. And not a bunch of old socks, either. (Beat it, Lambchop!) No, we're talking marionettes with little motors for the facial expressions. A tremendous undertaking, perhaps, but a hell of a lot easier than working with some of the "real" stars who get dragged into this story.

Team America is an elite fighting force trying to eradicate terrorism. After tragedy, they draft a Broadway actor to be part of the team, then take a serpentine path -- with more tragedy ... oh, and explosions -- in their pursuit of WMDs. All the while, haughty liberal Hollywood stars and North Korean dictators -- OK, one particular North Korean dictator -- try to stop our heroes, who also must face the obligatory intra-team tensions, both romantic and violent.

Did somebody say "violent?" Yes, we get all sort of bang-bang and blood-blood, but hey, it's a bunch of dolls and models, which is hilarious. Then there's the sex, which is damn funny, too. And the songs, which are pretty hard to not sing for a few days after seeing this. For instance, consider this gem when Gary realizes he needs to buckle down and help the team:

We're gonna need a montage
Ooh, it takes a montage
Show a lot of things happening at once
Remind everyone of what's going on
In every shot, show a little improvement
To show it all would take too long
That's called a montage

Still, the would-be title track is the best. Don't believe me? Well, I've got just one thing to say to that ...

America, F*CK YEAH!
So lick my butt, and suck on my balls
America, F*CK YEAH!
What you going to do when we come for you now
It’s the dream that we all share; it’s the hope for tomorrow
F*CK YEAH!

McDonalds, F*CK YEAH!
Wal-Mart, F*CK YEAH!
The Gap, F*CK YEAH!
...

(You get the picture.)

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