Know when to walk away, know when to run ... fast ... and far: "Two for the Money"

Not sure I've ever seen a movie in which the big names looked so frightening. And I've seen "Kingpin" multiple times.

First you have oily Matthew McConaughey, who I know is supposed to be good looking and all that but came across as a hick surfer dude, then as a greasy snake. Has he ever been in a movie in which he wasn't sweating? Ever since "A Time to Kill" set the standard, I guess ...

Then we have Al Pacino, who not only looked silly with his bottle black hair and little goatee but also seemed tired and worn out. Even his contractual over-the-top scenes didn't have much zip, and after a while I just became depressed at seeing him on screen.

Not as depressed, however, as when Rene Russo showed up. Yikes. No question we're all getting older, but she still looked hot just six years ago -- when she was 45 -- in "The Thomas Crown Affair." Did some nudity and everything. Now that she's topped 50, well, let's say 10 pounds of makeup hides only so much. Yes, I'm a sexist sh*t. Sorry.

The plot: McConaughey is a former football stud who gets hurt but finds he can pick winners for gamblers with extraordinary accuracy. That leads Pacino to recruit him for his gambling hotline/TV shows/advice empire. Off to New York Matty goes, where he flirts with Pacino's wife, Russo, while being shaped into the franchise guy he never could be as a football player.

"Two for the Money" apparently is based on a true story, and I guess it's somewhat unique. It's also occasionally entertaining to see our hero's legend grow, knowing that a hard fall is coming. And I'll admit that the scene with Pacino holding court at a Gamblers Anonymous meeting, is pretty good. You've got big ones, sir, I'll give you that.

Otherwise ... not much here. My sympathy for any of these characters was zero, and even the short side plot of a client who strikes it rich and then loses it all as McConaughey's fortunes plummet wasn't that interesting. By comparison, "Boiler Room" was much more compelling, and I still can picture that hapless guy coming unraveled and having to face his wife. My bad, honey.

Yeah, I'd say in the end this movie was pretty disposable and didn't do much to raise my estimation of Mr. McConaughey. "Lone Star" way back in the mid-'90s was good, and I liked his bizarro turns in the otherwise disappointing "Reign of Fire" and "Frailty" -- not his line, but I can't resist ... "Only demons should fear me! You're not a demon, are you?" Beyond that, though, the guy hasn't impressed me much in the last decade or so.

Then again, this is Wooderson from "Dazed and Confused," who gave us two lines that work in almost any situation:
1. "That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."
2. (All together now) "All right, all right, all right."

Throw in the time he was found in his home by police playing the bongos in the buff, and it's clear the dude knows how to party. Nothing wrong with that.