Where is Rutger Hauer when you need him?: "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

I'll admit ... I may have messe dup with this one. (Note: I saw that typo and was going to fix it, but I kind of liked how I messed up "messed up." Too artsy? Sue me.)

First, I started watching "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" while running on the treadmill. Hey, I figured I could pump up the volume on the DVD and not miss anything. But I forgot about the British accents, which really require subtitles every now and then, don't they?

Then, while finishing the movie later, I kept nodding off. So yeah, even if I managed to have normal viewing behavior in between those bookends, my overall experience was a bit muddled. Maybe that's why I was left at the end with a general feeling of "eh."

It's possible that repeated viewings of "Hitchhiker" will yield more pleasures. No question there are all sorts of subtle bits -- I mentioned the British thing, right? -- and it's not a hard movie to look at when it comes to kooky sci-fi. Definitely a "Fifth Element" thing going on here. Of course, by mentioning that, I've likely p!ssed off all the longtime "Hitchhiker" fans who have soaked up the books, radio and TV incarnations of this thing -- stuff I know absolutely nothing about.

As for this particular movie, our story has an Everyman Brit named Arthur Dent learning from his friend -- who is actually an alien -- that Earth is about to be destroyed to make way for an hyperspace bypass. Fortunately, he gets out in time. Unfortunately, that's just the start of his zany adventures, which include all sorts of interaction with weird aliens and a bizarre love triangle -- all together now ... "Every time I see you falling, I get down on my knees and pray ... " -- with a girl he met before Earth was destroyed and the president of the galaxy.

I'll be honest .... I lost track as things went along, but I kind of think that was by design. It seemed more important to appreciate the moment, and that's almost understandable considering the fun actors involved -- to wit, Mos Def, Zooey Deschanel, Sam Rockwell (who's really good), Bill Nighy and John Malkovich. Oh, and did I mention that Alan Rickman provides the voice of a depressed robot, while Thomas Lennon -- of "The State" and "Reno 911!" fame -- is the hyperactive voice of a spaceship?

It's funny ... on the one hand, there seemed like there was a lot of stuff going on here. On the other, I was, well, a little bored. Visually, it's not a bad movie. I love spaceships and aliens as much as anyone. And I didn't mind the narration so much, nor the goofy touches like an "improbability drive" and dreadful alien poetry. But, at least the first time around, it was a bit jumbled for me. It also suffered a bit by featuring Martin Freeman as Arthur -- a perfectly fine choice, but the role pales by comparison to his fantastic turn as Tim in the British version of "The Office."

Like I said, time will tell with this one. No question I could be three steps behind everyone else who knew about the "Hitchhiker" stuff and was rolling with every scene, and maybe when I see this the next time -- preferably with a few drinks or a couple of Percosets in me -- I'll appreciate it more. Until then, I'll merely revel in the fact that Mos Def, Alan Rickman and John Malkovich could be in the same movie and leave me unimpressed. Seriously, what are the odds?