I'm still ticked Kreese never got his own movie franchise: "The Karate Kid"

Wax on... wax off.

I may have blogged this movie before, but I had the good fortune to catch it again while traveling last weekend. You don't know joy until stumbling across the adventures of Daniel-san and Mr. Miyagi on TCM in someone else's house ...

Fear does not exist in this dojo, does it? NO, SENSEI! Pain does not exist in this dojo, does it? NO, SENSEI! Defeat does not exist in this dojo, does it? NO, SENSEI!

Is there really any argument against "The Karate Kid" being a thoroughly enjoyable movie on multiple levels? Heartwarming story, great mentor-protege dynamic, a romance in which the girl outweighs the boy by 50 pounds ...

What do we study here? THE WAY OF THE FIST, SIR! And what is that way? STRIKE FIRST! STRIKE HARD! NO MERCY, SIR!

And, of course, the villains. We get the first installment of the William Zabka bad-guy trilogy -- this movie, "Just One of the Guys" and "Back to School." But even better than Johnny and his posse is their sensei, the immortal John Kreese ...

We do not train to be merciful here, mercy is for the weak. A man confronts you in the street he is your enemy. An enemy deserves no mercy.

All this means you can't help but root for poor, picked-on, blue-collar Daniel, even if Ralph Macchio was in his early '20s by then. What was it with him and John Cusack, playing high schoolers when they should have been done with college?

You couldn't leave well enough alone, could ya? Now you're gonna pay!

Another question: Why did Pat Morita all of the sudden go with his real first name, Noriyuki , for this movie? Did he want people to forget he was Arnold on "Happy Days?" (Or a former stand-up comic called "The Hip Nip?" Yes, really.)

Man walk on road. Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk down middle, sooner or later, get squished just like grape. Same here. You karate do "yes," or karate do "no."

I'll have to admit that as much as I like "The Karate Kid," I've yet to employ Mr. Miyagi's teachings to my own life. Rather, I tend to make up lessons that sound like something he'd say. "Daniel-san, man who look for trouble find trouble looking for him ... "

Must be take a worm for a walk week!

Yes, he may not have a big role, but did you notice that one of the Cobra Kai guys is Larry B. Scott, aka Lamar Latrelle, the gay Tri-Lam?

Man who catch fly with chopstick accomplish anything.

I jest about "The Karate Kid," but I can safely say that one of my all-time favorite movie scenes is when Daniel-san "gets it." You know what I mean ... when Miyagi shows him that all the work Daniel was doing on Miyagi's house was actually a bunch of karate moves. Seriously, doesn't it make your heart stop every time?

What's the matter, Danielle? Mommy not here to dress ya?

On the other hand, I always feel cheated by not seeing more of the Daniel-Dutch showdown in the tournament quarterfinals. Just as Aryan as Johnny, Dutch was giving Daniel plenty of trouble when, poof, the match ends. What a ripoff.

I want him out of commission

Then again, Dutch would have had no problem sweeping the leg in the semis, and you have to think Bobby's reluctance took a bit off the kick, allowing for Miyagi's magic hands to give Daniel-san a fighting chance against Johnny. (It's also worth noting that I once saw a concert ad in New York featuring a band named "Sweep the Leg Johnny." Technically not accurate, but still awesome.)

Yeaahhh!! Get him a body bag!!

And we close with perhaps the most-repeated line from "The Karate Kid." That Cobra Kai's mania was so stunning -- seriously, Kreese almost said, "Dude, chill" -- you can't get his war cry out of your mind. Sure, some people might say "wax on, wax off" is the signature line. But considering how often you hear someone cackling "body bag" at a fight, you have to admit (cue the music) it's the best ... around! Nothin's gonna ever keep it down! It's the best ... around! Nothin's ever gonna keep it dow-ow-ow-own!!!