And to think I've been sticking those $1 bills in G-strings: "National Treasure"

I kid. Really ... I use $2 bills. You know, just to shake things up.

Can't say I was too pumped about "National Treasure" when it came out. First, as you'll recall from my review of "The Weather Man" not long ago, Nicolas Cage hopped on the Weirdo Train a while back and has been hit-or-miss when it comes to choosing movies lately. Secondly, "Treasure" looked a little too Disney for me, so much that I half-expected the kids from "Escape to Witch Mountain" to show up.

Our story has Cage as Ben Gates, whose father and grandfather and who knows who else hunted for some ancient treasure that somehow made its way from Egypt to the U.S. of A. The youngest Gates continues to chase clues -- there even some on our money! -- and finds out that a big one may be on the back of the Declaration of Independence.

The problem is that, unlike Gates, his shady partner, Sean "I swear I'm not always a bad guy" Bean has no qualms about stealing this important document. That means Gates needs to steal the Declaration -- after failing to convince a hot historian (Diane "Helen of Troy" Kruger) of the theft threat -- to protect it from Bean's character. Cue the chase music, boys!

Clearly there's a modern-day "Indiana Jones" thing going here, although Cage doesn't show wit as much as quirkiness. Even so, we get a few funny enough scenes and lines. We also get a sidekick (Justin "Yeah, I should have changed my last name" Bartha) inserted solely for more yuks -- painful at times, but it could have been worse. And don't forget the crusty dad, Jon "Yes, I'm available for anything these days" Voight. He's nothing great, but we've come to expect than from Voight at this point. Was this really Joe Buck?

All in all, the story is fairly entertaining if somewhat absurd. Sure, you could say the same about "Raiders of the Lost Ark," but there was a spirit to that movie and Harrison Ford's classic "Trust me" attitude to carry the day. Here, things oscillate from busy to silly, although the movie looks good enough and is generally wholesome.

Part of me wants to say "Boo! Bring on the blood, sex -- especially that hot historian -- and four-letter words!" But I don't mind the attempt to make an action movie that isn't gratuitous. It's sort of the same thing with "Napoleon Dynamite" being an anomaly among teen comedies. Think about it ... no sex or swearing there, unless you count Napoleon berating Tina. You fat lard!