C'mon, you're telling me they couldn't get Danny DeVito to narrate?: "March of the Penguins"

My Wife Surprises Me, Exhibit No. 71: A few minutes into this movie, she said "Those penguins walk like Vito," the gay mobster from "The Sopranos." That's awesome.

Normally a documentary with a high cute factor wouldn't appeal to me, especially since I try to limit my Morgan Freeman-narrated movies to "The Shawshank Redemption." I must admit I didn't think much of these penguins first time I laid eyes on them. Looked like a stiff breeze would blow them over. That was my first impression.

"March of the Pengiuns" is a painstaking look at how penguins procreate, plain and simple. Over the course of 80 minutes (the perfect length for my better half), we see how emperor penguins of Antarctica trek from the sea to their breeding ground, then mate and care for their offspring -- first as an egg, then as a chick. Unfortunately, there's no bowm-chicka-BOWM-bowm music during the getting-busy part. Geez, people, lighten up a little.

Of course, we've all seen pictures of penguins and think they're funny and cute and all that. What we may not realize is that they live in a brutal place, and it's nothing short of amazing to consider a creature keeping the circle of life going amid sub-freezing temperature, punishing blizzards, etc. As funny as the penguins look marching single file to their breeding ground, you have to feel for them as they huddle together in the dead of winter. "All right, Fred, I've been on the outside long enough! Let me into the middle!"

Also interesting are the respective roles of the penguin parents. Without going into detail, let's say that both mom and dad get the shaft at different times, going hungry while bringing up baby. As for the chicks themselves, they're kind of weird looking but provide plenty of "awww ... " moments as they try to make their way in the cold, hard world.

If you don't already respect documentary filmmakers -- at least those who don't bludgeon you with opinions like Michael Moore -- "Penguins" should change your mind. That these Frenchmen would spend so much time tracking these animals and hunkering down in the heart of winter is pretty impressive. The end credits provide quick looks at how they shot some scenes, but even before then it's clear this is a labor of love, and the combination of wide-angle and up-close shots is amazing.

While this certainly is fun for the whole family, be forewarned that the harshness of the land means not every penguin -- adults and newborns -- makes it to the end alive. But that's OK because the cycle begins anew each fall. All we can do is support the next group as they march across the frozen desert. I hope they can make it across the border. I hope they can see their friends, and shake their hands. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in their dreams. I hope.