If this dipsh*t hadn't left on his own, we would have kicked his a$$ out: "Into the Wild"

I see a lot of movies. Not as many as some, but probably more than most. Some friends say I'm too easy on movies. They're wrong. Any soft spots I have for certain genres, actors, etc., are more than outweighed by me calling out crap when it's obvious. Natalie Portman is cute and all, but "V for Vendetta" still sucked. (That's for you, Tex.)

I say this because I think I give just about every movie a fair shake, and very rarely have a visceral reaction to the blood, sweat and tears we see on the screen. And technically I didn't have a visceral reaction to the movie "Into the Wild." Rather, my spasms of disbelief and near-disgust were to the person around whom this tale revolves: Chris McCandless. I'm sure he was nice enough and all, but after seeing this ... well, I kind of hate the guy.

Our story is told out of order, with flashbacks and forwards and whatever, but here's the general idea: After graduating from college, our hero decides he wants to drop out of society -- rather than go to law school -- and become a drifter. Note I didn't say "live off the land" or "be one with nature," like some of the BS he spouted. Nope, he just roams around, living off the grid but still being part of the world, whether it's hanging with some hippies or glomming off on an old man or living in an old bus.

The latter happens when Chris makes his way to Alaska. Apparently, living in the wild was a thing with him, so he hitches to the Last Frontier and walks into the woods, where ... and I'm giving away nothing here .. he dies. Yep, he wanted to get away from it all, and he really got away.

Directed by Sean Penn, "Into the Wild" is a compelling and visually engrossing tale of this misguided kid's odyssey. I won't argue that. With everything shot on location, we get great scenery. And the actors are by and large good. Emile Hirsch -- whom I have come to like in about everything -- is a convincing Chris, and William Hurt, Marcia Gay Harden and Jena Malone are spot-on as his tortured family. As for his journey, familiar faces include Catherine Keener (dialing down the frosty), Vince Vaughn (not quite as infantile), Kristen Stewart (doing her best Lolita) and Hal Holbrook (ratcheting the sad old man bit up to 11).

So yeah .... good looking, good acting, the whole long, strange trip thing ... what's not to like? Well, our hero, for one. And that's enough. While I never really thought of it before, I've come to realize that with just about any movie, you have to like the lead guy/girl/whatever. This doesn't mean he or she should be a good person, mind you. Could be a royal a$$hole. Think Mel Gibson in "Payback." World-class bast*rd, but you still like him. Or at least you empathize or sympathize with him.

In short, there's got to be something there, and there definitely wasn't with this joker. I thought he was full of sh*t almost from the start, and nothing about his journey changed that from me. Doing things your way doesn't automatically make you cool, and in many cases it makes you stupid. Like, when you kayak through rapids with no helmet. Or say you don't need money but then go work on a farm. Or make a big stink about living in the wild and go hunker down in an old bus with a bunch of supplies.

Yeah, you can say I called BS on our boy Chris, and all of the technical stuff and acting talent of "Into the Wild" ultimately was drowned out by how unappealing I found the main character. Strange, strange situation, I have to say. Best comparison I can make is that "Grizzly Man" movie from a couple of years earlier. That guy was flat-out nuts, as well as a glory hog. McCandless wasn't nearly as bad, but he was about as dumb.