Not unwatchable, actually: "Untraceable"

Now, you know how I love Diane Lane. Hey, she's on the list. Brings kind of an elder stateswoman role to the group that also includes Jessica Alba and Charlize Theron. (Oh, Charlize ... ) Even so, I skipped this thriller when it was in theaters because nothing suggested it would be first-rate.

But did I mention the Redbox down the street? With My Radiant Beloved again in a movie mood and nothing from Netflix but "The Tudors," I was off in search of something we both could handle, and my main squeeze Diane answered the call.

Our story has Lane as a widowed mother of one -- hubby was a cop -- who works in cybercrimes in Portland, Ore., tracking down people who do bad things online, from the kid who rips off credit card numbers to child predators. Or some sicko who kills people in elaborate fashion live on the 'Net, with the pace of death determined by how many people visit his site.

So yeah, there's a whole commentary-on-society thing going on here, which becomes even clearer as details of the bad guy emerge. Well before then, however, we get a few gruesome deaths in cyberspace and plenty of angst from our heroine. Doesn't help that the villain targets her, too. Oooooh, creepy.

As for THE BIGGER POINT ... eh. There could have been something here, maybe. No question that the world is full of people who watch sick sh*t on the Web from the privacy of their own homes. Duh, that's why we love the Web. We can see and do stuff we never would out in the real world. You think I'd actually go to a Miley Cyrus Fan Club meeting?

Yet I can't say "Untraceable" would have been better if it had mined that social commentary more. It's decent for a while, then the story unravels two-thirds of the way through, mainly because a key player's motivation fails to make sense. I'd lump this in with "Disturbia" as mildy interesting thrillers that ultimately don't satisfy before becoming wholly forgetable a few minutes after the final credits. And yes, the producers have my permisson to use that description on the DVD case.