Truly I am a renaissance man

At least more than Danny DeVito, I'm, sure.

After something of a dry spell (remember the "Star Trek" reruns?), I've bounced back strong in recent days and caught several movies -- some for the first time, others just because I like them. As Jim Carrey said before his hoops rampage in "The Cable Guy" -- which I still don't have on DVD -- "Let's get it on!"

Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith
Fantastic effects, passable story, terrible acting. That's all you need to know. Ewan McGregor, Samuel L. Jackson and Frank Oz/CGI (as Yoda) are decent enough, but Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen suck balls. Both have been good in other movies, so this isn't all on them. In fact, it's clear that George Lucas is to dialogue what the U.S. is to soccer -- disappointing, to say the least. This begs the question: Was he always this bad and we forgave him because we were young and the first "Star Wars" trilogy was so cool? Or has he just gone into the crapper with Trilogy Two? You know, let's forget that and focus on the flashing lights.

True Grit
While not John Wayne's best movie, it's one that many identify with the Duke because he (a) won an Oscar and (b) wore an eye patch. Hey, you never forget a guy with an eye patch. In fact, I often think about wearing one in my daily life, perhaps switching it every hour. One day, when I'm going to a party or meeting where I don't know anybody, I'll actually do it, I swear. As for the movie, Wayne is entertaining. He's also big as hell. Now I can see why he was such an icon. Sure, he's got a gut here, but even without that he's a tall, strapping man. Alas, he's also hanging around with Glen Campbell and Kim Darby. The former is a singer who plays a Texas Ranger; Chuck Norris would drop him in two seconds. The latter is a young woman who wants Wayne's character, bounty hunter Rooster Cogburn, to help bring her daddy's killer to justice. She's annoying as hell, though, and I couldn't forget she would go on to play Lane Meyer's mom in "Better Off Dead." "It's got raisins in it ... You like raisins ... " Now that's acting!

The Skeleton Key
When I'm running Hollywood, one of the first things I'm going to do -- right after greenlighting big-screen versions of "Bosom Buddies" and "Airwolf" -- is require movie ads to include mediocre reviews. Seriously, what carries more weight, something like "Super awesome cool!" from Tom Thompson, moviespaz.com or "Not as bad as it could have been" from A.O. Scott, The New York Times? I mention this because "The Skeleton Key" could have been a lot worse. It's not good, either, but the whole Louisiana bayou black magic thing was mildy interesting, and it's not painful to watch Kate Hudson bolt from bed in her underwear. She plays an in-home nurse who thinks something's up with the mute invalid she's caring for in a big mansion. It doesn't help that the guy's wife, played by Gena Rowlands, is nuts. Also lurking around is Peter Saaaaaaaarrrrsssgaaaaaaaard as a lawyer. There's a whole lot of "boo" in this that isn't much in the first half, and Hudson's character is generally annoying. But the climax is somewhat decent, and like I said, this could have been worse (i.e. "Hide and Seek").

The 40-Year-Old Virgin
First, the negatives: It's too long, and for a juvenile comedy, there aren't nearly enough one-liners that you can drop into conversation, a la "Old School." Heck, the only ones that come to mind are "Be like David Caruso in 'Jade'" and "You know how I know you're gay?" But even with those minuses, this is a funny and, yes, even sweet movie. (You know, except for all the swearing and sex talk.) Steve Carell is good, of course, but so are all the supporting players. (Is it weird to say I'm a Paul Rudd fan? Between this and "Anchorman," he's genius.) It's also great to see Catherine Keener as something other than a frosty b*tch. As for the lack on quotable lines, we get a lot of subtly funny scenes, like when "The Bourne Identity" is playing in the background of a conversation and Rudd's character opines, "You know, I always thought that Matt Damon was like a Streisand, but he's rocking the sh*t in this one!" That's funny because it's true.