If he were a real badass, he'd drive a Chevy Cavalier: "The Transporter 2"

You know, to give the ultimate automotive middle finger to the bad guys. "I just kicked your ass in a Cavalier! How you like that?"

(I still can't believe Thifty Rent-a-Car tried to tell me it was a midsize just because it had four doors and a CD player.)

I'll confess to enjoying "The Transporter" more than I should have, mainly because of how tiny Jason Statham seemed. Turns out he's not really that small -- 5' 11'', according to IMBD, which is taller than Van Damme and Stallone. But in that little suit and skinny black tie, he just comes across as an ordinary bloke, albeit one without a sense of humor. Then, the butt-kicking begins.

"The Transporter 2" is more of the same, with the added plus of a passable plot. This time, our man Frank is in Miami, driving a rich kid around town when some baddies try to snatch the tyke. Frank doth protest, then finds out it's not a simple kidnapping, and that the kid's dad -- Matthew Modine! -- and his anti-drug friends are the real targets of the drug kingpin behind the plot. Meanwhile, Frank has to fend off the amorous advances of one hot woman -- the kid's mom, played by Amber Valletta, the poor man's Cameron Diaz -- and the blazing guns of another hot woman, played by someone named Kate Nauta.

As in Round One, we get car chases and chop-socky, with Statham really getting into it now that he has a DVD hit under his belt. Strange, but I'm having a hard time remembering any specific fights or chases beyond an absolutely absurd scene in which Frank's car does a little mid-air spin and pulls off a move with Swiss precision. I also seem to recall the climax also was rather laughable. Surprise, surprise.

Still, this fits perfectly into the "late-night, no-need-to-think" category, and I recommend it highly in that regard. I'm just pissed that Statham and Modine didn't go at it on the wrestling mat. Sure, Statham can kick and punch, but we all saw how Louden Swain took down Shute in "Vision Quest." (Lunatic fringe ... I know you're out there ... )