If there were so many Democrats there, why wasn't there a blue carpet?: Post-Oscar thoughts

First, apologies for not sharing Oscar predictions over the last few days. Not sure why I brain-farted on that. But guess what? I picked everything right!

OK, OK ... that's not entirely true. I did miss Best Picture, and I'm enjoying the backlash about everyone in the Academy living in Los Angeles, where "Crash" takes place. Yeah, that's the reason. I also hear there are no gay people there.

While I was surprised by "Crash" winning Best Picture, I wasn't horribly disappointed. I liked "Capote" better than "Brokeback Mountain," anyway, but since it was a longshot, I can't get upset with "Crash." I was more ticked when "Fargo" lost to "The English Patient," and especially when "Pulp Fiction" lost to "Forrest Gump." Oh, man, don't even get me started on that. Stupid Tom Hanks! Why couldn't you stick to "The Man with One Red Shoe?"

Besides, the win by "Crash" shook things up on a night that was kind of tame and long. Funny, I thought the show was moving along quickly enough, but it still took three-and-a-half hours. Good thing we watched it on TiVo, starting after 8 p.m. and catching up to real time right around 11. That's what I'm talking about ...

Other musings on Oscar:
-- Jon Stewart ... funny guy, but his schtick didn't work all night. As expected, the more political stuff was on target, and there were some nice impromptu quips -- "I think it just got easier for a pimp," after the "Hustle & Flow" song won Best Song. Another good line after several different clip shows: "Next up, Oscar's salute to montages."
-- I also liked how they introduced Stewart, especially the Crystal-Rock tent scene. It also reinforced how bad Whoopi Goldberg was compared with other hosts. She's just not funny, even for a center square.
-- You couldn't ask for a better first winner than George Clooney. He just seems like a good guy, even if he gets a little preachy now and then. But his speech was pretty solid -- even moreso compared with more traditional (and lamer) ones from Philip Seymour Hoffman and other acting award winners.
-- Even more fun than seeing "Wallace and Gromit" win were the little bow ties the two guys brought for the statues. More subtle than those folks toting penguins, and they got to stage first.
-- Finally, I would kill to have a download of that montage of Westerns in which fellas seemed just as close as Ennis and Jack in "Brokeback." It was hee-larious, from "Mind if I look at your Winchester?" to a shirtless Charlton Heston telling a smoldering Gregory Peck, "I don't know why you felt you had to come in here to say goodbye."

Anytime you have Atticus Finch and Moses in a "wish I knew how to quit you" moment, that's gold, Jerry ... gold.