Have you ever loved and lost it all?: "Before Sunset"

Between this and my dogging of "Dodgeball," I almost certainly will be kicked out of the He-Man, Woman-Haters Club.

OK, let's get it over with: I liked "Before Sunrise." Sure, it may be a chick flick with wussy-boy Ethan Hawke and French miss Julie Delpy walking around Vienna blabbing to each other before they ultimately hook up. But there was a real connection between those two -- not "ooh, I love you," but more like, "we're both full of sh*t, and that's OK." And believe me, I'm no Ethan Hawke fan. He really is becoming a poor man's Tom Cruise, and that's not such a good thing.

So I'm already in the hole by saying I like "Before Sunrise" when the director, Richard Linklater, is responsible for other fine films, i.e. "Dazed and Confused" and "School of Rock" (not to mention his breakthrough "Slacker," even if it's more of a curiosity piece). But wrap your head around this: "Before Sunset" -- Wuss Movie: The Sequel -- is pretty good, too.

Listen, I'm agonizing about this as much as anyone, but there's no getting around it: Linklater -- with the help of Hawke and Delpy -- really has nailed these characters and their wistful would-be romance. For those of you who were busy watching crap like "Batman Forever" in 1995 -- OK, I saw it, too -- "Before Sunrise" had Hawke and Delpy on the same train that stopped in Vienna, leaving them to hang out before Hawke flew back to the U.S. They made plans to meet six months later, but we never knew if that happened. I distinctly recall being a little pissed at this. Come on! Does he score with her again or not?!?!?

"Before Sunset" takes place nine years later, with Hawke in Paris for a book signing when Delpy drops by the bookstore. Right away you can tell where this is headed: Confusionville, with a layover in Awkwardtown. The two immediately go into bullsh*t-spouting mode, trying to sound cool and collected while they size up each other. He's more gaunt looking and twitchy, she's chubbier and less radiant. In other words, they're older. Hey, it happens, people. It's not like I wanted more back hair or anything.

For the first half-hour or so, it's highly amusing to watch what happens all the damn time in these situations, including with yours truly when he meets up with old flames. You've got the perma-smile going, and there are absolutely no gaps in the conversation for fear that any silence will suffocate you. You know what I mean ... the whole, she-asks-a-question-then-I-ask-a-question thing. Keep talking! Keep talking!

Of course, this can't last, even with their brief time together. Eventually Hawke and Delpy wear down and reveal more of their lives -- as they are now and as they were affected by that magical night nine years ago. As goofy as each person looks, they're totally authentic, and it's great to see the BS give way to somewhat brutal self-examination. It's probably worse for Hawke, given he's again on foreign soil. (And this after Delpy has been in New York while he was there, too!)

As the end approached, I was pretty interested in whether these two kids would hook up once again, even with all the baggage they now have. Rather than ruin the ending for you, I have only this to say: F*CK YOU, F*CKING RICHARD F*CKING LINKF*CKINGLATER. I don't mean that in a bad way, but let's just say nine years isn't too long to use the same trick. At least he didn't have Jack Black and those rock 'n roll playing kids parachute into Paris for the finale.