Slumming between Oscar noms: "Secret Window"

First, I just saw a pop-up ad that asked "Are you suffering from adult ADD? Take time to find out." OK, let's think about that for a second.

With the missus under the weather, we stayed in last night and settled for this peach of a picture, in which an unkempt Johnny Depp -- where have you gone, Tom Hanson? -- stumbles around a remote cabin while being stalked by John Turturro, who pretty much replicates his "O Brother Where Art Thou?" bit in playing a cracker who says Depp ripped off his story. Johnny doesn't like this, or maybe he just hates his blond tresses, round eyeglasses and ratty robe. But as we know, clean-cut Depp rarely does as well as weirdo Depp, or maybe you liked "The Astronaut's Wife."

Nevertheless, Depp does all right, proving he's fully graduated to the "never boring" level of actordom. Unfortunately, everyone else is, and even B-level fave Charles Dutton ("Alien 3," "Mimic") mails it in. Throw in a plot "twist" that Stevie Wonder could see coming, and this was 90 minutes that would have been better spent on another Depp dip, even "Once Upon a Time in Mexico."