Blame it on the writers strike

You read earlier that our house recently got DirecTV and a slew of free movie channels. Between that, the lack of new episodes for some TV series and a little time off during the holidays, the family and I have managed to see a veritable buttload -- that's metric, not U.S. -- of movies. Some may deserve their own posts, but due to time constraints, we're going to turbo through them quickly, breaking them into two categories.

(Actual quote from my wife a few days back: "I smell a roundup!")

NEVER SEEN BEFORE

Ratatouille
Not only cute and fun to look at, but pretty funny. Makes sense, given the guy behind it is Brad Bird of "The Iron Giant" and "The Incredibles" fame. Won't be surprised if he ends up winning another Oscar for this one. In short, a French rat with a great sense of smell ends up being the brains behind a bumbling guy's rise to top chef. Only minus: It takes place in France, where there are French people, who smell and smoke too much. Still, great fun.

A Mighty Heart
Here's another laughfest. I may be part of the working press, but I can' t say I was too pumped for this tale of a reporter for The Wall Street Journal who is kidnapped by Muslim bad guys in Pakistan, and his wife's dogged quest to find him. Oh, but the story is about the wife, really, since it stars Angelina Jolie in that role and some dude from "Judging Amy" as the WSJ guy. I'll admit Jolie and the movie were better than I expected, and I was pleasantly surprised that the director was the same guy who did "24 Hour Party People." But this isn't as good as that. Jolie dropped her "show my boobs" clause, and there was hardly any singing here.

Click
Now here's a movie where I could have done with seeing a lot more of the wife. Kate Beckinsale ... woof. She's always been hot, but here, with the whole smokin' wife thing and the little pajama shorts and tank tops. Oh, mommy. I'm with Christopher Walken on this one: I couldn't get her rockin' body out of my mind. By the way, the movie also stars Adam Sandler as a workaholic who gets a crazy remote control that allows him to control his life. A few laughs, but mostly dumb and preachy. The moral of the story: Don't be a d*ck. Beckinsale, though. Naughty.


Music and Lyrics
She Who Causes Stirring in My Loins -- not Kate Beckinsale ... my wife! My wife! -- had seen this but figured it passed the "watch together" test. She was right, although it's nothing great. Hugh Grant plays an aging '80s pop singer, aka yet another wisecracking goof -- less edge than "Bridget Jones' Diary" and "About a Boy," but better than "American Dreamz." He has to write a song for a Britney Spears-type singer (before she went bonkers) but doesn't do lyrics. Enter a kooky Drew Barrymore, surprisingly less annoying that usual. Hijinks ensue, and while it's mostly sappy, I found this more tolerable than others of its ilk. And the "video" of Grant in a Wham!-esque band was priceless. Can't get that song out of my head, dammit.

SECOND TIME AROUND

Boyz n the Hood
Man, this was exactly like my childhood, except if the all-black Compton was mostly-white suburbs in Kansas and Tennessee. Scary. Anyway, I had seen this at least once before and gave it another whirl if only to see Ice Cube and Cuba Gooding Jr. before they became jokes and Laurence Fishburne when he was Larry ... and one-third as wide. On the plus side, his character's name, Furious Styles, may be one of the best in movie history, right after Gaylord Focker. "Hood" suffers a bit now because there's been so much gang/drug stuff in movies since then, but I can see how it was a big deal back in 1991. Big enough to net John Singleton an Oscar nomination at the age of 24. Normally I'd say, "And look at what I've done with my life." But you know what? He also directed "2 Fast 2 Furious." At least I don't have that hanging over my head.

Mission: Impossible III
It's still one of my proudest moviegoing moments: buying a ticket for "Akeelah and the Bee" and going to see this movie instead. That way, Crazyass Cruise doesn't get any of my cash. "M:I:III" wasn't bad, but it didn't get any better in my living room. Philip Seymour Hoffman kind of mails it in as the sleazy bad guy, beefy Larry Fishburne is Cruise's boss, as is Billy Crudup. Ving Rhames is back with other helpers. While the explanation for how the cool spy stuff works was nice, this movie also was kind of dark -- literally, it seemed like the lights were out in several scenes -- and looked like a glorified episode of "Alias," which makes sense given that the series' creator is the director here.

Dawn of the Dead
OK, running out of steam here. I liked this movie a lot when I saw it in the theater -- Denver, I think, with my lawyer friend (and notorious necrophiliac) Louie -- so I jumped to TiVo it the other day. Something strange has turned everyone into zombies who can run pretty damn fast, forcing the remaining normal people to hole up in a mall. Whereas George Romero's original from the '70s was more laid-back and threw a little social commentary at us, this is all about killing and surviving. Still some cool and clever stuff here, especially if you stay right until the very end. That's right ... Rosebud was the zombie's sled.

Talledega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
I was hoping this would be another "Anchorman." Hell, it's the same people and same kind of title, right? I didn't think that movie was that good the first time around but have come to love it with each viewing. (Hey, Paul Rudd!) So I gave Will Ferrell's race movie another try. Alas, it wasn't any funnier the second time and may have fallen even more flat. Ferrell has been much better in a lot of other stuff, and while the idea of a Perrier car in NASCAR is funny, Sacha Baron Cohen's French driver isn't a great show of his considerable talents. Worse, no Paul Rudd! About the only people who stand out are two old pros: Gary Cole (always solid) as Ricky Bobby's dad and John C. Reilly as Ricky's clueless pal. Suffice it to say that I may start checking into hotels as Mike Honcho.