Quite frankly, Casper was creepier: "Ghost Rider"

Add another movie to the annals of those I would never pay good money to see yet don't mind giving a chance when on cable. You know, I've got to quit doing that, especially now that I've switched from digital cable to DirecTV. We've got three months of just about every premium movie channel, which means there's a lot of crap I should know better to avoid.

Case in point: I remember laughing out loud at the trailers for "Ghost Rider" earlier this year. Even for being based on a comic book, it looked pretty silly. And unlike, say, "Elektra," there's no visual delight in seeing a leather-clad Nic Cage stalk across the screen. Give me Jennifer Garner in a red leather corset instead. Anytime. In fact, how about right now? (Kidding, honey!)

Our story has everyone's favorite "Fire Birds" veteran playing an Evel Kenievel type daredevil bike rider who cheats death at every turn. How does he do it? Well, selling your soul to the devil helps. That's what Johnny Blaze did so the big D would cure his dad's cancer. In return, Mephistopheles has Blaze -- the Ghost Rider -- do his bidding, complete with flaming skull, long chain and badass chopper.

It turns out the Devil's son is proving to be a thorn in Dad's side. To keep the world from falling into darkness or some crap like that, the Ghost Rider has to take down Blackheart -- yes, the villain's name is Blackheart -- while figuring out how to control his own powers. And this tale wouldn't be complete without a love interest, played in this case by Eva Mendes' boobs. They turn in their standard eye-catching role. Oh, yeah ... the rest of Mendes is here, too.

I'll give "Rider" credit for some interesting casting. The Devil is played by Peter Fonda, which is curious but not entirely unsuccessful. He's kind of funny if a little too cute. As for Blackheart ... I had been wondering where Wes Bentley got off to after "American Beauty." Seriously, I know he's been in other movies, but can you name one of them?

Otherwise, we get some standard fare. Funny sidekick played by Donal Logue? Check. Crusty old sage played by Sam Elliott? Check. Man, this guy ... I love him, but is he going to be playing the same role until he's 105? What's that? He already is 105?

I'll admit that I don't like the supernatural/mystic comic book heroes as much as the classic guys who are just mutants or aliens. And sure, some of Ghost Rider is amusing. There's the interview with a punk woman who saw Mr. Hothead in action. In addition, Cage tries to be quirky and gets off a few decent lines, and there are some in-jokes that made me raise my eyebrows after learning about them.

Overall, though, this is pretty dumb. One interesting tech-geek nugget: The Ghost Rider's skull was computer generated from a three dimensional X-ray taken of Cage's actual skull. Yeah, that wasn't Cage's actual skull on screen. Hell, if he had pulled that off, it would made the whole cockroach-eating bit in "Vampire's Kiss" look like chump change.