A few guys with some self-esteem issues, to say the least

I finally managed to knock out a few movies over the last week or so, and let's get right into a round-up of some of the lesser lights.

As if I needed a lower opinion of the French: "The Nutty Professor"

Although I had seen the Eddie Murphy version of this tale of a dorky professor turned smooth operator, the original eluded me ... until now. Come to think of it, I'm not sure I had seen any of the old Jerry Lewis movies where he's a bumbling idiot. That's good and bad, I guess. Well, maybe just bad.

Our story, as it were, has Lewis as a bucktoothed, bespectacled college professor who drinks a formula and transforms into a suave egomaniac. The same comely coed who flustered him now is putty in his hands, as long as he can keep from reverting to his real persona. Oh, the hilarity!

Actually, Lewis as the ladies man is fun for a while. I can't remember if he was channeling Dean Martin or Frank Sinatra, but either way it's clear he's having fun. Alas, the rest of the movie -- Lewis' alter ego, the whole perfecting the formula stuff -- is pretty blah, making me think this would have been a much better short film. Then again, that might have meant less of Stella Stevens. Not as hot here as in "The Poseidon Adventure," but still not bad, not bad at all.

What really happened to that Jared guy: "Thinner"

This was just a case of timing. Bad, in retrospect.

While visiting family recently, I snagged a paperback copy of "Thinner" to kill time. Wouldn't you know it? As soon as I finish one of Stephen King's weaker novels, HBO shows one of the weaker film adaptions. It's like a perfect storm of crap.

After a lawyer runs over an old gypsy woman, her really old dad curses him, leading to results that Jenny Craig would kill for. That sets off a race against time: Can the lawyer find the gypsy man and lift the curse before he wastes away? More importantly, will the hot young gypsy woman raise her skirt again after teasing us in the first few minutes? Yowza.

It's all pretty stupid, notable only -- and this is a maybe -- for Joe Mantegna hamming it up as a mob guy. Otherwise, you're in for truly awful makeup and dialogue that doesn't depart much from King's book, which, as I said, isn't any great shakes. But if you've ever wondered what Mr. Kruger from "Seinfeld" looks like with a bunch of zits ...

You know, I think I'll walk: "The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift"

If you thought fessing up to "Thinner" was bad ...

Not sure what I was thinking when I watched this. Oh, not because it's low-grade junk. Because I hadn't seen "The Fast and the Furious" or "2 Fast 2 Furious." I mean, I could have been lost, man.

As it turns out, the first two movies aren't required viewing, although there's a pathetic cameo at the end to make the connection. In this tale, a redneck with a leadfoot gets shipped off to Japan, where he falls in with kids who do a whole different kind of racing. That would be "drifting," which apparently involves a lot sliding back and forth instead of trying to corner curves. Kind of cool at first. Kind of old after five minutes.

While some of the racing stuff is nifty and Tokyo sure is bright and sparkly, this movie really distinguishes itself by answering two questions: (1) What happens when a French woman and an Argentine man have a kid? (She turns out to be really hot.) (2) Whatever happened to that kid from "Sling Blade?" (He's now playing a grown-up cracker, including the lead role here. And I don't like the way he talks, I reckon. Hmmmm.)