Nope, you really can't blame Brad: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith"

Yeah, this still is in theaters ... barely. While "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" had been on my list for a while, it wasn't until the missus and I had our own little quarrel -- she says tastes great, but I must insist on less filling -- that I snuck out to see this ins a tiny, 51-seat theater. (I counted.) Amazingly, there were four other people there. More amazingly, one putz hadn't turned off his cell phone, and he took a call. I do love going to the cinema.

But I digress. "Smith" has the dubious distinction of creating "Brangelina," and it's only natural to wonder if Brad Pitt ("The Mexican") and Angelina Jolie ("Hackers") really do have the same chemistry onscreen as they have on the pages of "People." Then again, with those lips and that body, Angelina could have chemistry with the Elephant Man. "I AM NOT AN ANIMAL ... but I must admit you're giving me ideas, young lady ... "

As you know, our perfect couple play ... the perfect couple, nicely groomed and married with a nice house, nice cars and nice jobs. Alas, this means they're in marriage counseling. And, as it turns out, their real jobs are as professional assassins. When each of them discovers what the other does for a living, sparks -- and bullets -- fly! (Did that sound like a press release? That's what I was going for.)

It's a cute idea -- shades of "True Lies," I kept thinking -- that's ripe for all sorts of fun scenes, especially in the hands of a decent director, Doug Liman (of "Swingers" and "The Bourne Identity" fame). And Pitt and Jolie, despite a decade-plus separating their ages, seem game enough -- him alternating between smirky and pretty, while she smolders and ... smolders. Oh, how she smolders. Smolder, smolder, smolder, you little minx. Is it warm in here?

(Really, how could Jennifer Anniston compete with that? Jolie has a more unique look and made her bones in movies -- and won an Oscar -- while Anniston always will be a TV girl. She also loves to party and get weird (vial a blood around your neck, anyone?) yet is socially conscious with those adoptions and whatnot. And all this before she turned 30. Even with the tattoos and weird brother fixation, it's no contest, really.)

Bottom line: "Smith" is light and amusing, but nothing especially clever or inventive, which becomes more noticeable as it drags on. Trim a good 10-15 minutes from the movie and throw in a few more good lines -- even Vince Vaughn ("The Lost World") doesn't get much to work with -- and this could have been really solid. As it was, I enjoyed the escapist fare on a weeknight. And of course, there was smoldering.