Ice, ice, baby: "The Day After Tomorrow"

Maybe they've already handed out these awards, but can we agree that "The Day After Tomorrow" is the stupidest movie title of 2004? Sure, it has this BIG, IMPORTANT FEEL to it. But when you learn what the movie is about, it doesn't make a lick of sense. Really, it's like someone said, "We can make this sound like a big, important movie if we give it a heavy title that doesn't actually mean anything. Let's do it!"

I toyed with seeing what I'll call "The DAT" when it came out last year, for no other reason than it was the first movie with big screen-filling special effects before the summer season started in earnest. Fortunately, I came to my senses and quelled my customary urge to see a movie just because it will look good on the big screen. "Oooooh! Big explosions and lots of noise! Wheeeeeeee!"

Of course, that didn't keep me from catching "The DAT" on HBO last week, at which time I patted myself on the back for showing restraint in '04. Oh, the movie didn't suck across the board. But any curiosity generated by the premise was handily offset by boring characters, generally silly developments and a lack of interesting stuff beyond the CGI scenery.

This shouldn't be a surprise, considering the director, Roland Emmerich, also helmed such classics as "Stargate," "Independence Day," "Godzilla" and "The Patriot." I've seen the first two, which have a few redeeming values but won't be confused with Kubrick anytime soon. Mainly what we can expect from Roland is a lot of running and banging around, and a bunch of wide shots that show "the gravity of the situation." Ooooohhhh.

We get wide shots galore in "The DAT," and they're not bad overall. Also, it really isn't that bad of an idea to build a movie around a sudden ice age. Somewhat topical given the global warming issue, and it beats having a meteor slam into the planet. But things soon get out of hand in the believability department, from twisters galore taking out Los Angeles to the overall idea of this killer cold advancing south from the North Pole.

It's barely worth mentioning the cast since the real star here is the weather. Dennis Quaid ("Caveman") is our hero and doesn't get much to do except warn people and then worry about his son, played by Jake Gylllllllenhaaaaaaal, who clearly is capabale of more, i.e. "Donnie Darko," or even "The Good Girl." Beyond that, we have the dead girl from "Mystic River" (Emmy Rossum) and Bilbo Baggins (Ian Holm), neither of whom who show more than one dimension as the world approaches deep freeze. But hey, I'm sure the sledding was just great.