I was told the movie title would NOT show up on my bill: "Deep Throat"

The perils of porn in hotel rooms are well known. When you travel on business and find yourself alone in an anonymous room -- is this a Sheraton or a Hilton ... or a Vagabond Inn? -- it can be mighty hard to resist scrolling through the movies for "mature audiences." Fortunately, most trips find me indulging another vice and killing time at the hotel bar, which makes late-night viewings of "Blind Date" that much more amusing.

While in a city that shall remain nameless last week, however, I discovered a piece of history wedged in between "Barely Legal 37" and "The Porn Identity." And considering the Watergate informant who adopted this movie's title recently revealed himself to the world, I really had no choice but to watch "Deep Throat." After all, as Samuel Coleridge wrote, "If men could learn from history, what lessons it might teach us!" (Yes, I looked that up.)

Clocking in at a mere 61 minutes, "Deep Throat" doesn't have the most intricate story, you'll be surprised to learn. Even so, it takes a little time to get to the point: A woman (Linda Lovelace, playing herself ... instead of, say, Lady MacBeth) who can't achieve orgasms discovers that her clitoris is in her throat. As you might guess, she doesn't take the news well at first, crying to her doctor, "Suppose your balls were in your ear!"

Yes, this is the real plot, and were it not for "Edward Penishands," it could be the silliest ever in the history of film. (Never seen the latter, but I'm just guessing.) But wait, there's more! You've got the '70s look, of course -- complete with mustaches -- and some mind-bogglingly cheesy music, including the song that plays when Linda discovered how she can achieve orgasm. It goes a little something like this: "Deeeeep Throat ... deeper than deep, your throoooaaat!" Not exactly John Lennon, is it?

You may recall a documentary out earlier this year titled "Inside Deep Throat," which examines the ins and outs -- pun intended -- of this movie, how it was made and what it spawned. I'll catch that on DVD, I'm sure. Between the mainstream success and the Watergate stuff, the movie's place in history is unquestioned. And really, you can't wrong with a movie that asks the question, "Say, what's a nice joint like you doing in a girl like this?"