But this still doesn't explain why Luke was such a whiner: "Star Wars: Episode III -- Revenge of the Sith"

Perhaps it was fitting that while driving today I heard "The Thrill is Gone" on the radio. I mean, all this hype over "Episode III," and the bottom line is that I'm not 10 years old anymore and not going to pee my pants over "Star Wars." True, some people my age and older have done just that in the weeks leading up to last Thursday. But those people also have a persistent rash from that Yoda mask they slept in the night before the premiere.

Before I sound too much like a grump, I was pumped for "Episode III," subscribing to the widely-held belief that it couldn't be as much of a letdown as "Episode II" and especially "Episode I." Then again, whose fault is that? I mean, I'm sure kids all over the world ate up this second trilogy just as much as we did the first. And those critics who expressed disappointment at the second trilogy are, like me, mentally incapable of forgetting the first trilogy when reviewing the second, essentially dooming it to lesser reviews regardless of content.

So I guess you can say I'm conflicted about the second "Star Wars" trilogy, and that applies to "Episode III." While generally treated well by critics, this sure record setter doesn't seem that far removed from the previous two installments, i.e. cool special effects and action scenes offset by wooden acting and awkward dialogue. To be sure, this is the best, much in the same way the "The Return of the King" was the best of the LOTR trilogy. In each case, all the stops are pulled out as we wrap up the storylines that had developed over several hours of screen time. Hey, you gotta go out with a bang, right?

I won't dwell on the storyline since we all know what's going down in "Episode III": Young Anakin Skywalker gives in to the Dark Side of the Force and becomes Darth Vader, right as the galaxy comes under the reign of the Empire. And "Episode III" starts off nicely enough with all sorts of gee-whiz space battle stuff, with Anakin (Hayden Christensen, "Life as a House") and Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor, "A Life Less Ordinary") trying to save Chancellor Palpatine from being kidnapped. No question Lucas knows laser blasts and lightsabers, the latter getting a healthy workout; Obi-Wan's duel with General Grievous, droid commander, probably was my favorite. Then again, it's always fun to see Yoda throw down. The more flips and flying through the air, the better!

It's good thing this installment has a bunch of action scenes, because Lucas clearly can't be trusted with actors standing around. Then they start speaking to each other, and it's hard to take them seriously. I mean, George ... you have more money than Billy Bob has ex-wives. Would it kill you to hire a script writer and acting coach? Otherwise, everyone needs to be swinging a lightsaber every minute so things don't slow down.

In the end, I guess I can forgive Christensen's one-note turn to the Dark Side, Natalie Portman's glorified galactic housewife and Sam Jackson's blank performance if they take me to the genesis of Darth Vader. And there is plenty to look at along the way -- more effects than in the previous two movies. So while "Episode III" maybe could have been a bit shorter than two and a half hours, it moved along well enough and wasn't boring.

Ultimately, we're talking about closure, and this falls in between LOTR and "The Matrix." Everything is wrapped up and explains where things stand before the first "Star Wars," and it's not too confusing or monotone, thanks to the non-involvement of Keanu Reeves. But we also won't expect to see this on the Oscar lineup outside of special effects, although I won't argue for a special award for giving Jimmy Smits something to do after "NYPD Blue" and for keeping Jar Jar Binks largely silent for the second straight movie. But getting trampled to death by a bantha wouldn't have been bad, either.