Wonder Twin powers ... activate!: "The Dreamers"

My wife and I differ when it comes to the French. She appreciates their history, culture, style and cuisine. I think they're a bunch of beret-wearing, chain-smoking, stuck-up punks. Then I went to Paris and discovered the truth: Not all of them wear berets.

Even so, I was willing to take a chance on "The Dreamers," a 2003 movie about a young American who befriends French twins in the late 1960s. "Befriends" might be an understatement, since the fraternal twins (boy and girl) are rather open with our impressionable Yank, which might explain this film's NC-17 rating.

I could tell you that the draw for me was director Bernardo Bertolucci, he of the equally uncomfortable "Last Tango in Paris." But the truth is I was curious about Eva Green, she of the pretty face and kickin' bod. And if you're worried you won't see much of that bod, don't. The missus started watching this with me, with the Paris stuff and all. It's a good thing she fell asleep, though, since my open appreciation for Ms. Green's free-spirited nature might not have gone over well in the family den.

This apparently was Green's first movie, and even stranger ... she's a twin in real life. Here, she and the French guy who plays her on-screen twin grow increasingly creepy as they welcome Michael Pitt ("Bully," another family-friendly flick) into their apartment and lives. Not "boo" scary, mind you, but rather "Maybe you two shouldn't be naked around each other so much" scary. Mr. Pitt gets in on the action, of course, which means we not only get several shots of penis -- an automatic one-star deduction, my pal Tex says -- but also a disgusting deflowering scene. On the kitchen floor. Yeah, fun.

So you may want to pass on this one when Mom and Dad are in town. It's kind of a shame, too, since the music is really good -- Hendrix, The Doors, Dylan, Janis. All relatively obscure stuff, too. I may try to track down the soundtrack, especially if there's a photo of fair Eva on the cover. I just hope listening to it won't make me wonder what went on with Zan, Jayna and Gleek behind the Hall of Justice.