The Iceman crooneth: "Top Secret!"

Before he was Tom Kazanski , Jim Morrison, Doc Holliday, Bruce Wayne and John Holmes, Val Kilmer was Nick Rivers, pop singer and skeet surfer extraordinaire.

While it's not be as good as "Airplane!" or even "The Naked Gun," "Top Secret!" is the Zucker/Abrahams/Zucker film that not only introduced Kilmer to the world but showed he could be pretty hilarious. It's also no "Real Genius," either, and every time I see that gem, I find myself asking, "Why? Why, Val, did you have to go get all serious when you could be so funny?"

But I digress. "Top Secret!" spoofs both spy movies and Elvis films by having Kilmer play a Presleyesque singer who gets caught up in international intrigue while in Germany. But a little spying and freedom fighting doesn't mean we can't break for song and dance numbers, right?

I don't remember when I first saw "Top Secret!" but it had to be a good 15 years ago. Catching it on HBO last week, I still laughed at some scenes but also noticed how dated the movie is. Along with some of the jokes, i.e. a Ford Pinto exploding, the movie as a whole isn't fresh given the endless number of other parodies over the last 20 years. True, those don't have a cow wearing boots, but that alone doesn't make a four-star film.

But hey, if you don't like a joke in a ZAZ movie, just wait a few seconds. Here are my three favorite bits from "Top Secret!"
3. "I know a little German. He's sitting over there."
2. "Hey, you forgot you phony dog poo?" "What phony dog poo?"
1. "This is ... Deja Vu." "Haven't we met before?"

Then there's the big fight scene, which is incredibly corny but still funny with it's dead-on send-up of old Westerns. You've got the bartender, the stools, the guys playing cards, the swinging doors ... all underwater, of course. As much as the cow with boots, that's a classic image from "Top Secret!"

I guess if there's one advantage over other ZAZ movies, it's the music. Kilmer does his own singing, and a few days after seeing the movie, I'm still finding "How Silly Can You Get?" and "Spend This Night With Me" bouncing around my head. Anyone can belt out "Light My Fire" and "The End." You try pulling off "Skeet Surfin'" with a straight face.